Surviving a Really, Really Bad Day: The Rouby Owens Story

I'll never forget that we were eating spaghetti for lunch.

Rouby was sitting there, crying her eyes out, and all of those tears were drowning her spaghetti noodles. I walked over to try to say something funny, something that might cheer her up. It didn't work. She just put her head down and cried a little harder.

I asked her why she was crying. She told me a story that just broke my heart. Keep reading. we'll get to that story. But in that moment, her story was so sad, that I really didn't know what to say to her.

So I just tried to tell her the truth.

I said something like, "Rouby, what happened to you is awful, and it's not fair. This might not be the best time to tell you this, but one day the world is not going to care how hard your childhood was. The world is just going to ask you one day, 'Rouby, what can you do?' Because we all have a sad story. We all had to overcome something hard. So my advice? Cry today, because this is not fair. But when you're done crying, you better get to work. Because you're all you've got. It's up to you to make something out of your life."

Then I tried to encourage her. I reminded her that she was young and she was smart and she had so much potential. I remember telling her, "as hard as this seems today, these hard times don't have to last forever." I think that's something that a lot of kids who grow up in poverty struggle with. It's hard to imagine how life is ever going to get better, because struggling and "survival mode" is all they've ever known.

Running the alternative school at Caruthersville High School, I had several "Rouby's." I'd given this "tough love" talk to several kids, trying to remind them that they were the only person with the power to change their situation, while also trying to point out that hard times don't last forever. She had talent. She was smart. She could make it. "Even the darkest hour only has 60 minutes."

Not long after that, Rouby moved. She got placed in foster care. I saw her at a basketball game over at Hayti a couple years later. She ran up and hugged my neck. I could tell she was doing a lot better. I haven't seen her since, but we're friends on Facebook now.

Fast forward. Last week I woke up and was reading Facebook. I scrolled down, and I saw Rouby. Thinking back to that day with her crying in her spaghetti, I wondered how she was doing now. So I sent her a message. She messaged me right back. Without going into all of the details of those conversations, it was a very powerful moment for me.

Rouby sent me this. I'll let her take it from here.

---

Hello Everyone ,

Have you ever been so low in your life, to the point where you just thought about giving up because NOBODY seemed to care ? Well if you can’t imagine that, I sure can. When I was 14 years old my grandmother decided to remove me from the home with the help of my mother and Aunt.

Remember, I was only 14.

I wasn’t the best child in the world, but I didn’t deserve that. My clothes where scattered on the curb where the garbage goes, and I just didn’t know what I was going to do. I thought that my grandmother would change her mind by noon and my clothes would be back in the house, but I WAS WRONG.

I was 14 years old, and I was kicked out on my own. They said I couldn't come back.

"What am I going to do?" is what I kept telling myself. So time passed by and I went to family members house, and of course they're gonna say no because they don’t want to be on my grandma's bad side. So I was on the streets of Caruthersville, MO roaming around. and people have no clue, but I’m sure they wondered what I was doing out there, KNOWING we couldn’t leave the house at all.

School and home was the only thing we ever seen. So as I was in the streets, my clothes that my grandma threw out still sitting outside, I ended up staying with a friend of mine. I didn’t tell her what was going on . I was okay for that night, but I knew I couldn’t keep this up because they were gonna eventually ask me why I wasn't going home.

So I stayed in a couple empty houses for a few days before I went to this church and got help. I should also mention that this was my first time ever going to "church church." So I didn’t know how to act or what to say. As the service went by they had an altar call for prayer, and I went and started crying immediately. Then the First Lady of the church approached me. We went to the office and began to talk, and I felt like I was talking to a mother I wished that I had.

I told her that me and my brother used to sneak in the church and sleep in there and in the church van when we used to kicked out for the night. She was amazed, but she knew my brother because he was attending church there already.

Then we began to think about where I was gonna stay. I asked if could stay with her, and she thought that wouldn’t be good because her children were already grown. So we thought some more. She called the juvenile officer, Mr.Abbott, and he said he was gonna have to call Social Services. I said "I don’t want to go to foster care," and he said I really didn't have a choice unless someone in my family would take me in.

I said "that’s not gonna happen."

So by the GRACE OF GOD, a woman in the church by the name or Mrs. Brown said she’ll take me in, and from that very point on I was about to be in foster care at the age of 14. We completed the paper work. I was introduced to my caseworker, they explained the system to me ,and it went from there .

I said that to say this - I was in 13 foster homes! I was molested! I was homeless! I starved! I finally did graduate high school, but then I lost my Father (a man that was kept from me ). Now I’m currently living on my own. I have my own everything with my own name on it, working full time 24/7, and BUILDING my own BRAND.

I got so many hustles going on. GOD OH GOD BROUGHT ME ROUBY LEE OWENS THIS FAR & HE'S NOT GOING TO LEAVE ME NOW. I have a clean heart and mind and I’m so positive that my spiritual growth is so powerful that I can’t BREAK. No Weapon Formed Against Me Shall Prosper.

I’ve been through the worst, seen too much for my own eyes, and LOST SO MANY PEOPLE TO EITHER THE STREETS OR NATURAL CAUSES. I got back up. I didn’t give up. I have a reason to be here! I remember MY STORY LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. I am ROUBY LEE OWENS

---

I didn't send Rouby a message because I wanted to tell this story. I honestly didn't even know if she would text me back. I have just always wondered if she "made it" out of such a tough situation. She sent her story to me. She wanted it to be told.

Having said that, on Just Win Today, the whole point of the site is to try to do something to help you have a better day. We have a podcast and a YouTube Channel and the Quote of the Day and these articles and all kinds of other things that we do. We're trying to make you laugh or "pick you up" if you're down or motivate you... something to make today a "win" for you.

The moral of the story, at least for me personally, is this right here.

Rouby told me, "Coach, I can remember what you told me like it was yesterday." You just never know how what you're doing or saying today is going to impact somebody. I said that to Rouby EIGHT YEARS AGO. I wasn't sure if I was giving her good advice or not. I'm glad that I was able to say something that stuck with her, something that meant something to her.

There is a bigger lesson here. I think this applies to all of us... teachers, parents, friends, aunts, uncles, etc... You never know what somebody else is going through. Rouby wasn't a "bad kid," but she was in trouble a lot. Looking back, it's easy to see why she was angry. I would have been, too.

The fact that Rouby is still standing on her own makes her a success story. She has released a song called “WE MADE IT" that gives her testimony. She's working and living her life. She's really a miracle.

So think about that today as it relates to the people around you. What you say and do matters. You never know what they're going through. Thanks for reading. #JWT