Hold On Loosely, But Don't Let Go: Kenyon Wright

"Hold on loosely, but don't let go."

- 38 Special

I was riding in the car this weekend, and that song came on the radio. Me and Lani sang it at the top of our lungs while Trey hammered out an air guitar solo LOL. I said to Lani, "I think that's going to be my quote this week."

Your challenge this week is to look at your life, and ask yourself this question: "What are you holding onto into your own life that is really holding you back?" Maybe you need to let those things go? Maybe you don't need to let go completely, but just 'hold on loosely' and stop trying to control things you can't control? I want you to take a look at your life and really "self examine."

I'll give an example of a person who really personifies this idea of "hold on loosely." I coached a guy years ago named Kenyon Wright. He was a 6'1, 125 pound guard. He was skinny, not the most athletic guy on the team, and he severely broke his shooting arm (in half, in two places) his sophomore year. It wasn't the kind of start to a career that screamed "superstar" or anything like that.

Going into his junior year, Kenyon was clearly one of our best five players. If he were named a starter, nobody would have complained. However, we had three seniors (Luke Phillips, Jason Rampley, and CJ Hadley) who were also good players, along with a junior (Eric Henry, all state player) and a sophomore (Dom Johnson, all state player) that were good players. We had six guys who deserved to start, and somebody would be the odd man out.

So I came to Kenyon before the season, and I said "I'll start you if you want to start. You deserve it. But I would rather bring you off the bench. You'll play just as much, but that's how I want to do it." Kenyon was a great, great shooter. I just thought he would give us a shot in the arm coming off the bench. I'll never forget what he said, "I just want to win coach. I'll do whatever you ask me to do."

The season went along, and Kenyon wasn't shooting like he could. He was shooting okay in games (about 33%), but nothing like the show he put on daily in practice. In practice he'd have days he just put on incredible shooting displays... 10 threes in a scrimmage, bank shots from 30 feet (and he called glass LOL), etc... he was a great shooter.

But there we were, about halfway through our season, and he was struggling a little bit. Kenyon came and asked what he needed to do better, how he could play even more, etc. I told him he had to make shots. Again, he was 125 pounds. He wasn't going to lead us in rebounds. He wasn't our point guard. He had to make shots. Period. I told him that.

Now think about that for a minute. Make shots, and you play a lot. Don't make shots, and you play a little. He didn't have that same margin for error that other kids had. He had to make shots. And this next part of the story is why he's one of my absolute favorite kids that I ever coached...

I wanted him to play with no fear and really let loose, to be the shooter I knew he could be. So I told him, "You can miss five threes per game and I'll never get mad at you." So if he went out and went 1 for 6, he needed to stop shooting. Because that was hurting us. But if he went 4 for 6, keep going. He could miss five. I didn't care where he shot from or how many he shot. I just tried to teach him, if you start missing 6, 8, 10 shots, you're hurting the team.

Kenyon would shoot from anywhere. He was just fearless. He learned that fine balance between holding on loosely (no fear, it's okay if he missed a few shots) and letting go (keep missing shots to the point he was shooting us out of a game). He knew it was okay with me, and just as important, with his teammates if he missed a few. The last half of his junior year, he became a great shooter for us, and we won the state championship. His senior year he came back and MADE 102 threes (in 30 games) and shot 44-45% from three on the year.

So bottom line, how does this apply to your life? What does a skinny kid becoming a great shooter have to do with you? You can't control everything. Kenyon couldn't control every shot. He missed over half of his shots! But he did learn to let it fly, to be fearless, and at the same time be smart. He didn't over think it. He didn't throw caution to the wind. He learned to live in that space right in between where success is often found. He held on loosely, but he didn't let go.

The last game that I coached Kenyon we lost a heartbreaking game in the sectional playoffs. After the game, we were all crying, upset, etc. Kenyon hugged me and whispered in my ear, "Coach, when I grow up, I want to be just like you." I've never forgot that. Kenyon grew up, became a basketball coach, and won three state championships. That's one more than me, so now I want to be just like him! He's a high school principal now, and I'm so proud of him.

Now you go out and self examine this week. What do you need to let go of? What are you holding onto too tightly? What can you not control that is consuming you? A big part of making today a win is mastering this concept, because the things we can't control can consume our mind sometimes. When we allow this to happen, it really is a waste of our time. Focus on what you can control.

Tune back in next week where I'll give this another try. As always, please inbox me with any good ideas or good stories. Most of the time the best ideas from stories come from my readers. I've met and got to know a lot of people doing this website. I always enjoy the back and forth with you guys.

Have a great week. Make today a win. #JWT