Coaching 101: Keep It "In House"

You hear adults say this all the time: "Kids today are different."

As an educator of 17 years, I disagree 1000%. Kids today are exactly the same as they've been for a long, long time. Society is different. What we accept and allow and tolerate is different. Social media has made all of our lives different.

Kids are the same. Kids still want to be loved, to feel safe, to be taken care of, and they want somebody to believe in them. It's in all of our nature to try harder when we feel like the person pushing us cares about us and believes in our potential. The old saying "they don't care how much you know until they know how much you care" is very true.

So having said all of that, here is some coaching advice for all of my coaching friends out there and all of the players reading this...

Stop putting all of your team business on social media. Coaches, do you like it when you read on Twitter or Facebook that a fan has ripped you after a loss? "Why didn't he call timeout," or "I don't know why we played a zone instead of man-to-man." No coach likes reading that stuff.

As a coach, how would you feel if you read one of your players saying this stuff? How would you like to read about them complaining about playing time, or you showing favorites, or them not getting enough shots? How would you like to read about how they are second guessing what you did in a game? How would you like to read them venting after a bad practice? "Mannnn coach is tripping!"

No coach wants to read that.

So I always just have to shake my head when I read a coach's Twitter or Facebook feed ripping his/her team. What good can come from this? Do you think calling kids out in a public way is going to make them show up for open gym? LOL

To put this in another context... especially when we're dealing with Jr. High and High School kids... as a parent, how would you react if your child's coach came out in the paper and ripped the team? I mean really called your child out, publicly, in the news paper? Speaking as a school administrator, I know I'd be getting phone calls from Board members.

How is calling kids out on social media any different?

So Rule #1, coaches and players and parents, stop airing out all your dirty laundry for the whole town to read. It's not helping anything. It might make you feel better for just a minute, but it's only making things worse in the long run.

I'm going to take it one step further. Coaches, players, and parents, stop bragging about every little thing you do on social media. HERE IS WHY...

Say you're the coach, and you get in a habit of getting online after a win and saying something like "man we played good tonight, great job by my team," etc. Well then you lose a game, or maybe you're mad, so you don't say anything at all.

SOMEBODY IS GOING TO NOTICE THAT. And they're going to say "well when we lose, the coach doesn't ever have anything good to say." By seeking out that "social media attention" for a good game, what you're really doing is setting yourself up for social media criticism after a bad game.

And players, this goes for you, too. We don't need to see some feel good post after everything you do. We don't need to see a YouTube video of you "working on your game" for 5 minutes, pretending that you just put an hour in at the gym. John Wooden said, "Don't mistake activity for achievement." Get in the gym and get to work. You don't have to tell everybody about it.

Good teams live by the motto, "What happens in the locker room, stays in the locker room." That doesn't mean what goes on in there is a secret. Not at all. It just means that what we talk about as a group, as a family, is meant for us. It's family business. If you go broadcasting that to the world, without them being in on the whole conversation, at every practice, in every huddle, they're not going to understand the context of everything being said.

Here is what you can brag about if you're a part of the team (player or coach): EFFORT AND ATTITUDE. That's it. Because if you brag about anything else (the results), that is always going to take you to a place where you're sending out mixed signals.

So in summary, keep it in house. Stop putting team business out there "on front street" for the world to see and read. It's bad enough when the kids do it, but coaches, there's no reason for you to do it. Like I always tell guys that ask me for advice, "YOU DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME. I'M PROBABLY CRAZY, BUT THAT'S HOW I WOULD DO IT."

Players, don't vent on Facebook or subtweet your coach. Go knock on his door and talk to him. Coaches, do the same thing. Tell that kid to come in your office and close the door if something needs to be said. Establish a culture of trust and open communication. If you do, your team will play better. If you don't (not saying I'm always right), you'll probably be kicking yourself later for not listening to me.

Times have changes, but kids haven't. They still want the same thing. Trust each other. Believe in each other. Keep it in house. Keep it in the family.

#JWT